Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
