Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
