i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
