you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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