I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Fuck appropriateness.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
