Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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