Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Ladies don't puke and tell
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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