i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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