so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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