guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
