i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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