ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize