They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
