you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
