she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Randomize
