Do you still have your period?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
