after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
God I need to hump something, right now.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize