I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize