TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
