i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
