babies were throwing up all over the place
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
