You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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