Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
