you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
