Joe is yelling at the trees again.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
