Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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