Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
