your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
