Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
