What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
