Screwed.edu
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
he's gonorrhea incarnate
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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