I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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