Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize