I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
