I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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