i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
