Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
