I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
