just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
