I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize