All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Mom said you looked used
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
