Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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