Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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