I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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