just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
