Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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