i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
