Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
