Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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