Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize