I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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