in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
