i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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