Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
a search helicopter?!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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