I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
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