and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
