literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
