Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
