Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
there is glitter all over my balls
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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