Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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