Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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