...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize