i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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