Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
my sisters under your porch take her home
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
