I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
