i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
did i walk over a car last night?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
