sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
