Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
