Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
