my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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