ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
