so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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